one of those days....

today... technically yesterday since the time now is 01:42 am... i wasn't in a really good and happy mood. i felt so sad and lonely, kahit naka super poker face me sa wrk, laughing with co-workers, but deep inside, i'm so lonely.
i'm feeling sad and lonely and jealousy. this is me.... sometimes i'm like this... self pitying and self confidence just drops down to zer0. this is my worst enemy, feeling down.
come to think about it... it all started with friends.
Bru is on her family vacation in pinas, Bez is in pinas, Mahal is in pinas, Family are busy, time syncronizing is bad bcoz of my wrk sched. and i'm all left alone here... alone.
i have my laptop, to get in touch with somebody in fb, and tv.
my other frens are busy with their own lives, and sometimes... nakakainggit tingnan ang mga pics nila together with other friends. sometimes they remembers me, sometimes they don't. sometimes they show that they care and sometimes they don't.
but i can't blame them for everything... maypagkukulang din ako. like i said, mahirap ang wrk sched ko kaya pag may party sila, and naremember nilang i-invite ako, hindi nmn ako makapunta, kc MAY WRK AKO. pag wla nmn akong wrk, wla nmn okasyon. and pag wlang okasyon at day off ko, i take chances to get a lot of rest and see my Mahal via skype.
i'm so jealous with people who are blessed to have lots of close friends. i'm probably being paranoid, but i just can't help to feel this way... realizing i don't have lots of close friends.
kaya wish ko na sana nandito na ngayon ang Mahal ko sa tabi ko. kahit pagwlng time ang mga frens sa akin, lagi nmn may time ang Mahal ko for me. :) the most important of all...
so well...
it's ok :)
i guess i'll just try my best to be closer to them and find some time to get together with them.
i don't know why, but sometimes i intend to isolate my self from others, when i'm feeling lonely. specially when i'm longing for my mahal.
it's hard to find close friends.
but that's ok too...
kahit hindi marami ang mga close friends ko, they truely care nmn. i'm so thankful that they still love me, appriciates me and understands me, kahit mostly invisible ako at malayo ako sa kanila.
thank you frens..! <3

i'm ok na... :) blogging really helps.. :)
thank you blogger <3

i miss you so much mahal ko... sana maging ok na ang visa mo para makasama na kita dito. so i wont be lonely anymore. you are my bestfriend who i can't live without. i need you in my life. i love you so much <3